100 questions to inspire rapid self discovery

September 04, 2014

Lately I am very much into the quest of discovering who and what I am. That is harder than it seems, and helpful tools are therefore very much welcome.

I have done the Myers Briggs type indicator recently and the outcome was very amusing to me. I know myself extremely well and recognized everything my profile outcome said. For those interested: INFP is my personality type. The website describes me in detail in general, in friendships, relationships, in parenthood and on the workfloor, but also my strengths and weaknesses. It is all so accurate that it can be seen as creepy and I am not the only one who thinks so.

Each and everyone of you fits into one of the 16 personality type indicators and it might be interesting for you to find out which one you are. You can do that here. If you do the test, which takes only twelve minutes of your time, please do let me know which type you are! I would love to know.

In my quest for self discovery, I also came across a questionnaire of 100 questions that can inspire rapid self discovery. Ah, just what I needed. Have a look with me!

ϟ What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Oh actually a couple of which I cannot choose the best. However, the one that stood out the most, is made by partner, Ben, who complimented me on my cooking. He said that it feels as if he dines in a top notch restaurant everyday. That moves me! I love to cook and I like to cook challenging dishes at that; no "ready-to-eat tv dinners" for us. I enjoy good food very much and I feel satisfied when it was delicious and something new and different, and I am even more satisfied when my partner liked it. You know what they say right? The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. 

But ofcourse, I understand people with a 9 to 5 job that do cook ready-to-eat meals, though I want to tell them that not every meal takes much of your time! With a little effort in finding the right recipes, you too can quickly coddle up a nice dish that can be healthy, too!

ϟ What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of — but would never put on your résumé?
That I can shoot longbows, pistols and rifles as if I was born with them in my hand.

ϟ What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?
Abandoning a former friend because all she did was pulling me down in her big black hole of negativity. Usually I am someone who walks along with them and try to help them, but this was a circle that would never end and I had to get away. She was playing nasty mind games aswell. 

I am more than glad to read that she has a child and a loving husband and that she's doing (from what I can see) fine. But for my own sake I had to end the friendship.

ϟ If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem!” … what would you do with him or her?
I would be very, very, very suspicious and definitely would not go along.
ϟ What’s going to be carved on your (hypothetical) tombstone?
She had stars behind her eyelids and a galaxy in her soul.
ϟ What are you FREAKISHLY good at?
Hiding behind a mask. One would not guess a certain mood if I am aiming to hide it.

ϟ What’s one dream that you’ve tucked away, for the moment? How come?

Going back to school again and attend an education more fitting to my lifestyle. Because I am in a turbulent time, I have to tuck it away.

ϟ What are you STARVING for?

Stability, trust and safety. A foundation to build on.
ϟ If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be?
Sherlock Holmes
ϟ Do you have a morning ritual?
Drinking my daily dose of caffeïne and for a healthy kickstart consuming a green smoothie for breakfast. I also read the newspapers, and to start the day with a laugh I also surf on 9Gag.
ϟ Do you believe in magic? When have you felt it?
I think a certain type of magic does exist, but it depends on how you interpret the word magic and in what circumstance.
ϟ Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?
How do you do your hair?
ϟ Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name? To what?
Well, I have changed my last name, because my real one is way too hard to pronounce for practically everybody who has never heard it before, though, after the last soccer world championship it became easier for people, since the Dutch goalkeeper is my family and his last name was pronounced on more than one occasion. But never thought to change my first name.
ϟ When was the last time you astonished yourself?
When a soulmate died in 2011; I pulled myself out of the misery and kept going. Though I have never felt a more gruesome pain, and almost killed me. I astonished myself that I got back on track. It's still extremely painful.
ϟ Do you ever yearn for your life, before Facebook?
ϟ What’s your definition of an ideal houseguest?
Someone who's not breaking my antique dishes or crystal. But it can happen by accident ofcourse. Still, watch out ... please.
ϟ If you had an extra $100 to spend on yourself every week, what would you do?
Lots of vintage clothing, shoes and also lots of Starbucks probably. Invite friends and family to dinners in restaurants.
ϟ If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?
Do not believe those filthy words. Hold your head high, keep your self respect intact ... so turn around and walk away. Be more careful in your selection of friends, and remember: not everyone with beautiful words loves you. Make your own choices, and believe in yourself.

ϟ What are you BORED of?

People with an insatiable need to gossip and talk bad about people. Whenever I am in the train I hear so many people talk bad about a supposed friend. Don't get me wrong: I have had times where I spoke bad about people, but one day I saw *the light*, cause .. if I talk bad about someone, then what does that say about me? Talking bad about someone, constantly, is suspicious: cause WHY do you talk about that person ALL the time!? What does it say about you?

I have noticed that you get people's trust, loyalty and friendship more easily when you keep your dignity and stay away from talking bad about others. Cause, if there's something bad to say about someone, then the people you gossip with, will find it out themselves. 

When people talk bad about you, they are obsessing over you and are afraid that other people might actually like you.
ϟ What’s the best birthday cake you ever ate?
Oh I don't like cake very much, actually.
ϟ How do you engage with panhandlers on the street?
I have actually only seen one in my entire life. I just passed him.
ϟ Do you think LOVE is chemical, intellectual, spiritual — or completely undefinable?
It is chemical for sure; the nose does the most of the work for you. It has something to do with pheromones. But ofcourse that is not the only thing: intellect does a lot, too ... for me atleast, but love can feel and become definitely undefinable at some point.
ϟ Have you ever dreamed about starting a business? (Or if you’ve already got one — a new business?)
No not really.
ϟ Are you afraid of flying in airplanes? (How come?)
Nope, I love it. I have wanted to become (yes get ready to break in laughter) a fighter aircraft pilot in the military.
ϟ What’s your most urgent priority for the rest of the year?
Our new house, to which we move this very month.
ϟ If you could master any instrument on earth, what would it be?
Cello. And I would play the Game of Thrones intro theme ALL the time
ϟ Have you ever been genuinely afraid for your physical safety?
Yes and with very, very good reason. I won't go into it because it's my biggest trauma.
ϟ What are you an expert on? Is it because of training, lived experience, or both?
Reading people's body language and see if they are sincere. I also pick up emotions quickly. It's because of lived experience ánd because of training.
ϟ Has a teacher ever changed your life? How so?
No, not a teacher.
ϟ Are there any household chores you secretly enjoy? Which ones — and why?
Cleaning the bathroom, and in particular the toilet. I am very, VERY keen on a clean toilet.
ϟ How do you reign in self-critical voices?
I go along with it.
ϟ If you could custom blend a perfume or cologne, what would it include?
White musk, pepper, cardamom, sandalwood.
ϟ What does FEAR feel like, in your body?
A knot in my stomach, dry mouth, difficulties swallowing, quick heartbeat.
ϟ Do you think you’re currently operating at 100% capacity?
No not at all.
ϟ What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?
Free time. I do not like to be bound by obligations. Recognition is a close second.
ϟ If you could save one endangered species from extinction, which would you choose?
Can't I choose them all? No? The Lear's macaw then!
ϟ Are there any laws or social rules that completely baffle you?
Yes, recently in my country a pedosexual was able to live ABOVE a children's day care centre after his time served in prison. He was fully protected and could reintegrate silently. He felt threatened when the neighborhood found out and bullied him away. The dipstick even had the audacity asking for a damage restitution. What baffles me, is that these people are given the chance to reintegrate, because as is known, they usually always fall into recidivism. Lock them up for good. A pedosexual cannot be changed; just as I cannot be changed into a lesbian or bisexual.

Sorry, but this is a sensitive topic for me.
ϟ Would you like to write a book? (About what?)
Yes! A book about achieving glamour! Silver screen glamour! Perhaps a topic for my blog?

ϟ If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?

No, not all of them but some definitely! Like my family's battle with poverty.
ϟ Have you ever SCREAMED at someone? (What did they do?)
Oh hell yes I have. I am known for my temperamental attitude. I had the right to scream cause he cheated ;-)
ϟ Do you think there’s going to be an anti-technology whiplash, in our lifetime?
ϟ Where + when do you get your BEST IDEAS?
Everywhere and nowhere!
ϟ Have you ever met one of your HEROES?
Sadly not.
ϟ What’s in your fridge, right this moment?
We have a huge fridge so, ehh, here goes: Rivella, lemonade syrup, 0% Bavaria beers package x 2, small truss tomatoes (bad I know, they should be kept outside the fridge), self grown cucumber, zucchini and lettuce, feta cheese, parmesan cheese, fresh basil, fresh parsley, orange juice, ginger root, mayonnaise, vegan mayonnaise, yogurt, mushrooms, butter, baking butter, Mozzarella, arugula, passata, tomato juice, Dijon mustard, mustard, soy sauce, bacon, ham, pancetta, spinach, two different salad dressings, pimiento, pickles, spring onion, pickled onions, fresh rosemary, marmite, strawberry jam, Tabasco, tray of eggs, Worchestershire sauce, canned anchovies, vanilla stick, goat's cheese, cream.
ϟ Can you tell when someone is LYING?
98% of the time I can.
ϟ Can you tell when someone is telling the TRUTH?
I am extremely suspicious, so I have difficulties with that.
ϟ Have you ever pushed your body further than you dreamed possible?
Most definitely yes.
ϟ Are you living your LIFE PURPOSE — or still searching?
Still searching.
ϟ Have you ever had to make a public apology? (How come?)
Never. But if I have to, I would. I have no problems making apologies for what I might have done wrong.
ϟ What’s the WORST piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
Fear God. I don't believe in God and therefore I cannot and will not fear him.

ϟ Do you think we’re designed for monogamy? (Why or why not?)
As much as we would like to think we are, we are absolutely not. The fact that half of mankind has already cheated on their other half, or is guilty of bigamy, shows you we are not designed for monogamy. Swans never cheat, neither do orca's or whatever specie is monogamous. They stay with the same partner their whole life. We do not - most of us that is. But, because we have norms and values a part of mankind stays faithful. Thank heavens.
Let me make it clear that, in no way, I stand behind cheating even though I think people are not monogamous. Cheating is one of the lowest things in life you can do to someone else.
ϟ How do you CELEBRATE your victories?
By cheering inwards and smiling from ear to ear the whole day
ϟ Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?
Introvert. Read my intro!
ϟ Do you ever hunt for answers or omens in dreams?
I absolutely do! Dreams tell us more than we acknowledge.
ϟ Do you think everyone has the capacity to be a LEADER?
No. Not every wolf is designed to be an alpha male and I think it's the same with mankind.
ϟ Is WAR a necessary EVIL?
ϟ Are YOU a starter, a finisher, or an implementer?
I am all three :-)
ϟ Have you ever unplugged from the Internet for more than a week?
I have! I went off the internet for a whole year even.
ϟ Do you think we should live like we’re dying?
Depends on how you die!? Some die pretty silly.
ϟ Do you have any habits or quirks you wish you could ERASE?
I can never shut my mouth when I see a statement that is beyond ridiculous. Not everybody is waiting for my remarks, so it would be nice if I can tone it down a bit.
ϟ What was the most AGONIZING hour of your life?
I will not talk about that here. It still haunts me.
ϟ Have you ever dramatically changed a habit, or gotten yourself out of a rut? How’d you do it?
I have quit alcohol last year october. That means that next month I am a whole year alcohol-free. I quitted it cold turkey.
ϟ Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?
Lonely genius.
ϟ How would YOU fix the economy?
I have no clue whatsoever. I buy too many shoes, I would only ruin the economy only further if you give those reigns in my hands.
ϟ What was your very first JOB?
Prison ward.
ϟ What brings you SHEER DELIGHT?
Coffee, shoes, antique christmas decorations, vintage beauty tips, autobiographical books, a good conversation, good food, beautiful photography, victories.
ϟ Are you highly useful in a CRISIS?
I am. I am very practical and can live an extremly primitive life. I have proven that already.
ϟ Do you like to be SAVED — or do the saving?
Oh I like to be the damsel in distress. Save me!
ϟ What’s one mistake you keep repeating (and repeating)?
Giving my all to the wrong people.
ϟ If you were heading out on a ROAD TRIP right this minute, what would you pack?
My partner, cat, makeup, toothbrush, toilet paper, towels, food, good music, photocamera, smartphone, money.
ϟ Do you have any irrational fears?
Uhm, yes. 
ϟ When you see peers + competitors getting things you want, how do you react?
Be happy for them, praise them and continue to strive to get those same things I wanted already anyway.
ϟ If you were to die three hours from now, what would you regret most?
My lack of assertivity and things in my head I left unspoken. 
ϟ What’s something you’ve tried, that you’ll never, ever try again?
A "scottish restaurant" in London. It was one big mistake; the restaurant owners were into human trafficking, I read that afterwards. Very scary; I knew in my very bones that something was wrong. The food was disgusting, the owners were scary as hell... everything was so eerie.
ϟ If you could enroll in a PhD program, with your tuition paid in full by a mysterious benefactor, what would you study — and why?
Psychology. The human mind fascinates me to no end.
ϟ Have you ever had a complete + total nervous breakdown? (How did you recuperate?)
I did back in 2011. And, let me just be honest, I spent three weeks in a institution.
ϟ Have you ever set two friends up on a date? (How did it go?)
No, but I did set my sister and my best friend on a date. Didn't went so swell.
ϟ Have you ever questioned your FAITH — or lack thereof?
I have no faith and neither did I question my lack of it.
ϟ What’s your recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?
Chocolate, Sex and the City, long phone calls with friends, playing music out loud whilst playbacking or singing along falsely. And before I quit alcohol I would douse myself in 2 or more bottles of wine.
ϟ Have you ever had a psychic reading? Did you believe it? Was it accurate?
I never did, no.
ϟ Have you ever (actually) kept a New Year’s Resolution?
Yes, I did! Getting out on my own and quit alcohol.
ϟ Have you ever met someone who was genuinely EVIL?
Oh hell yes.
ϟ Do you believe that everyone deserves redemption + forgiveness?
No not everyone, but most people do. I have forgiven all the people who have done me harm or treated me badly - all but one. I forgive them because I am strong and it takes me further in life. I have no intention nor energy to keep them in my mind and get angry about them. Such a waste of time.

That one person; well he deserves the worst on earth and I am honest about that. He ruined my life. No, that was not an ex-boyfriend.
ϟ What was the BEST KISS of your entire life?
I am not much of a kisser. I am more a cuddly person.
ϟ Do you secretly miss Polaroid cameras?
No, I still use mine. I like to glue them photos in my journals.
ϟ Do you have any physical features that you try to cloak or hide? How come?
I hate my feet, but recently I am ok showing them. I practically hate everyone's feet. Feet are weird.
ϟ What makes YOU so special, anyway? (No, really.)
My complex character. I am a real pandora's box. Not all of that complex character is a treat to live with, but some of it is.
ϟ What’s in your pocket (or purse, or man-purse) right now?
Pocket mirror, tiny vintage lipstick, keys, busticket with an emailadress from a random stranger who felt the need to give it to me, appointment cards, little notebook, a pen in the shape of a lipstick, my business cards, wallet.
ϟ Ever fantasize about being in a rock band? What would your group be called?
I used to but not anymore.
ϟ What’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?
KapsalonI never eat it anymore and that takes some discipline.
ϟ Who’s on your panel of imaginary mentors?
Marilyn Monroe, Nick Vujicic, Jeanne d'Arc

ϟ Have you ever stolen anything? (Money, candy, hearts, time?)

Hearts and time. My sisters clothing when I was very young.
ϟ When was the last time you saw an animal in the wild?
The day before yesterday. A carp.
ϟ What’s the hardest thing you ever had to write — and why?
A timeline of my biggest trauma.
ϟ Who’s the last person that deeply disappointed you? (What happened?)
A therapist.
ϟ Have you ever won an award? What was it for?
A medal once. For athletics.
ϟ How long can you (comfortably) go without checking your emails or texts? How do you feel about that?
Well I receive my emails on my smartphone so I see them whenever they arrive, but I don't always check it immediately unless it's something important. I have two emails: one for private and one for business and I check the private one more often. That will always be my priority. But I can go about a week without checking them and not suffer from it ;-).
ϟ What do you deserve + get to receive, no matter what?
Stability and safety. I have had my fair share of shit. It's time for some stability.
ϟ What are you ready to set into motion, today?
Getting to know myself better and use my traits to bring something nice out of it.

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  1. What an incredible set of questions and answers. I love how much you shared about yourself here, sweet Lindsay. I feel like I know you even better and once again, find myself yearning to follow your lead and answer these thought provoking questions, too (they'd also be excellent journaling prompts for some of my scrapbook pages). Thank you very much for sharing this with us - colour me inspired! :)

    ♥ Jessica

    *PS* I'm an INFJ.

    1. Thank you dear! If you ever want to use it, feel free to do so! I would love to read your answers. Does the INFJ profile fit you?


    2. Hi sweet Lindsay, it does very much so. Though there are a few minor points that I differ from, in general I'd say that I fit it at least 90% and that I feel it applies to me far more than any of the other 15 profile types.

      ♥ Jessica


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