The upside and downside of dressing the way I do.April 10, 2014
Whilst cleaning the house, I was thinking: lately I experience a bit of a negative feeling with the way I dress and I am trying to find out what it is exactly. Having this feeling doesn't mean that I am suddenly going to dress myself 'mainstream', because that would just not feel like me and I am sure this feeling is just a phase.
Like alot of things in the world, dressing the way I do - vintage if you prefer - has advantages and disadvantages. Usually the advantages outweighed the disadvantages by far, but lately I don't feel it is that way. I feel that I am getting irritated over the fact that I can not be anonymous on the street - ever. Everywhere I go, people recognize me as the girl who was in the newspapers, in the magazines, on television and who dresses differently than many other woman out there on the street. People I don't know, do know me and that is sometimes a rather scary feeling, really. My place of residence, Zutphen, isn't big and that makes anonimity even harder. My way of dressing attracts attention and ofcourse, I am grateful when people say how beautiful they think my way of dressing is, but when I need to catch my train because I am running a little late, there are people who want to chit chat about my dressing vintage, - and then I reply I háve to get my train - and who are very persistent to stop me to satisfy their curiosity about my way of dressing ... and that irritates me. However, me trying to get away from them to catch my train, or me getting irritated over the fact that they put a stop to me trying to catch it, doesn't mean I am not grateful, but I do come off as ungrateful. And that's not exactly what I want, cause sometimes they know who I am and have read about me in the newspaper, and will think of me as arrogant. Or, when I am not in the mood for talking because I feel a little down and people come up to me to talk, I try to make the conversation as short as possible and sometimes I am not able to be cheery and want to continue my way. In these situations I might not have left a friendly impression. And I am a person who wants to be friendly to people at all times.
Everywhere I go, people watch me, constantly, long and shamelessly, my every move. That makes me feel I cannot permit certain behavior as I live up to etiquettes. Usually I was pretty resistant to people watching, but at times, when I feel more insecure than I might feel at other days, it's very tiresome. I try to down dress myself in those days (no hat *gasp* for example) and that doesn't feel good either. So that's a bit of a dilemma for me. Some people (thank goodness not many) also assume that, because I dress impeccable and neat everyday, I must be a snob who thinks more of herself than of other people. Oh, and to some I am very, very rich. Well I am not poor but I am not rich either. What they don't know, is that my clothing is usually not newly bought from expensive boutiques, nor is it second hand, but third or fourth and most of the time pretty cheap. Because of my dressing differently, people make prejudices much easier and quicker and some don't quite take the time to find out whether it's right or wrong what they thought.
I also found out that some men think that, because I dress like women in olden days, I absolutely must be a terrific housewife who is very submissive to her husband; glide to the couch in slowmotion to slide his slippers on his feet, when he is about to put his bottom down on our pretty floral 1940s couch. They think I am the man-pleasing woman they know from the misogynistic advertisements of, say, the 1940s and 1950s. If there's one thing I am not, it's being submissive to a man. Ofcourse, I love to pamper my partner and I love to cook (and even clean!) but if my partner wants his slippers, coffee and newspaper he can easily get it himself. With an exception here or there ofcourse. My partner luckily respects this and pampers me a helluva lot of times, too. Our relationship is equal. As it should be.