Another recent result of a photoshoot!
How self-centered. But oh well... I started this blog to share things that I wanted, including my modelling pictures without anything interesting to read aswell. So here... et voila! Another one. But this time with something interesting (?) to read, too!
Click to enlarge.
Let me tell you a little secret. A secret I am a bit ashamed of, cause it sounds so silly! When I was a young girl and saw for the very first time a Hollywood movie from the 1930s, that beautiful silver screen with it's sultry actresses and handsome actors, I've always wanted to become one of those and I always wanted to play in films. I never thought of myself being in movies, really, for I am too shy ... but with photos ... I thought ... I can try to come as close as I can to the silver screen. Or look like an actress of that time at the least.
The movies from the 1930s and 1940s appeared to me like a dream world. And I wanted to become that famous as those playing in the movies. I had a hard time coping with life as a kid and this film world was something I could hide in, and that hiding was/is ofcourse a survival strategy. When I grew older I learned that, to make films in Hollywood was a disaster and that the actresses (most of them) did not live a dream life at all!
However, I never lost that dream I had as a little kid, and with the years passing by - challenging me even harder to cope with more rough aspects of life and illnesses - I recognized my life story in many of the tragic lives those actresses had lived. For example Marilyn Monroe. She was the first I recognized myself in (NOT! the looks mind you - I'd wish).
Since a short while I actually do play in movies or on stage but ofcourse there's no way I can ever become a silver screen 'queen' as that time has simply faded and gone. The actresses are all old or died a tragic death a long time ago. I still try to come as close to the silver screen as I can, and I still hide in a dream world when watching those old movies when life has shown itself from it's ugly side again.
So, when you see these photos flutter by for no reason, then just remember that it is my childhood dream showing itself. Oh I do live in a fantasy world, don't I ? But it makes life so much prettier and I so do love it!